【by Rebecca Arabian】

The hornets keep coming at me and I walk away.
I try to sit outside so the sunlight blocks my screen
and makes me stare at something new for a change.
I ask myself if love is just waiting by the phone
For hours and saying you don’t mind it.
I study this new language—your language—
Which no one has tried to explain to me before.
Speaking every day will never be enough but I still
Practice the verb forms—past, present, and future—
And learn the words for romance, marriage, children,
Health, and well-being. I look up baby names. I hide
Everything from my friends. I get comfortable with
Taking photos of my face so I can send them to you.
I think about how you liked my long hair just before
I’m about to cut it. I think about what would make you
Laugh in the TV show I’m watching, and where your
Hand would rest if you were sitting on my couch.
I recall drinking spritzes with you six months ago
As the Aperol from a liquor store near my house
weighs heavily in my belly. I miss you so much.
At the airport I watch some women sing
Around the piano player. I’m annoyed but
Then understanding. They just have so much
Joy that it shoots out of their bodies.